You did what? You’re a dumbass!

Let’s kinda say I fell off the “stay within your calories wagon” yesterday. Yeah didn’t just do it with one meal, I did it with all three. Guess I jumped off the wagon is a better way to say it.

I feel like crap. My belly feels like it’s got rocks in it. I want to vomit.

Here’s how the downfall happened.

Breakfast: strawberry breakfast fruit bar.
dumbass part:second fruit bar and a diet Pepsi

Lunch:5 boneless chicken wings with Asian zing sauce
dumbass part: french fries and ranch

I felt horrible at work the rest of the afternoon and didn’t even know if I was gonna be able to eat any dinner, and was probably going to opt for cereal. Then once I got home and started cleaning a little, I started getting hungry again and wanted a burger. So I clean for a few hours in an attempt to avoid going and getting something for dinner, because I was already over 1300 calories. But what do I end up doing around 7:30?

Dinner: Steak & Shake Triple cheeseburger
dumbass part: more flippin’ french fries and added a slice of cheese at home and not just 1 but 2 cans of full blown Mountain Dew

Yeah so all together I had almost 3000 calories…WTF!!! No wonder I feel like vomiting, that almost what I normally consume in 2.5 days! I felt bad after lunch but it went away by the time I had dinner. Didn’t feel guilty as I was eating a triple cheeseburger (steak & shake has thin burgers, but come-on a triple!) How can this still be happening to me after how far I have come on my weight loss journey? Am I really that weak to not be able to say no and have eaten something lite for dinner? Yes I am, and I’m not afraid (well kinda afraid) to admit it.

The thing that irks me the most is that I was by myself last night. Hubby was out with a friend, so I did all of this self-sabotage eating sitting in front of the TV watching the Lake House with Miss Emma. No party or special occasion or football game to blame it on this time…just me being a dumbass and not really thinking about how many calories I was shoving into my pie hole. Especially when I was eating it, not until the belly ache came on did I start to feel bad.

Today’s a new day and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna stay off the wagon for a whole weekend. But there’s nothing good about feeling like a dumbass and regretting what you did yesterday that cancelled out a week of eating right and exercising. Yeah good job Mendie…what a way to start the weekend. Dumbass.

You Capture – FOOD

You Capture challenge this week is food…yummmy! When Beth mentioned what next week’s pictures could be of…I instantly thought of some cookies I made a while back and to be sure to capture whatever “freebie” meal I would have over the weekend.

Ashlee of A Year in the Kitchen had an amazing recipe for some monster cookies. They were sooo yummy with a big glass of milk-especially right out of the oven! The recipe made several dozen and I took them to some 4th of July where they received rave reviews! You can find the recipe here. She has lots of great food ideas! Check her out! Here are some pics I took while making them.

Every few weeks we’ll get Chinese takeout one night of the weekend. We are creatures of habit and normal opt for the General Tso chicken and Chicken LoMein. Sometimes the fortune cookies make me smile. This was one of those times. I also had an ironic fortune a few months back, remember this?

So what have you captured on film before you put it in your belly? Come share with us at You Capture!

Weekly Weigh-In

It’s Wednesday…time to be accountable over at Shrinking Jeans. I am down .4 lbs this morning from last week. I did reach my 45 lb goal on Friday,but then splurged a little over the weekend and am back up a lb, but it will fall off. No plans for the weekend, so there shouldn’t be any temptations!

Third week of 21 Days challenge was a tough one. I decided to give up my 4 cups of morning coffee filled with SF vanilla creamer. So I have enjoyed a diet Pepsi a few times since then in the morning to get me going and curb off any headaches. Been good with my vitamins and will continue this when this challenge ends, it is good for me so why stop! Still chugging away at the ‘ol water bottle so that means several trips to the bathroom daily.

Continuing to do C25K 3 times a week, finished 2 days of level 3 this week. Finished the whole thing yesterday, I was so proud. Felt great when I was done. It was weird, I wasn’t as tired and had no side pains yesterday, and my max HR wasn’t as high(max 186 vs 191). So either I’m not pushing myself hard enough, or I’m getting used to this running thing! Go figure!

*Total weight loss for the challenge was 2.8 lbs…I’m happy with that for 21 days!

How did you do with the challenge? Are you ready for the next one-got a Wii? (I don’t so I’m gonna have to come up with my own 30 day challenge.) But you can join in! Share your stories with us over at The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans.

You’re such a pain in my back!

It was a beautiful cool day, one of the kind that lets you know fall is on it’s way. I got up and went outside to start pulling some weeds from the front landscaping and trim up the pond plants that have started to fall into the water and the mint that has grown like wildfire.

Spent about 3 hours outside doing that and cleaning up the Lilly leaves that were starting to turn brown. Felt accomplished when I came back in, and the fish seemed much happier to not have the random lily pads in their way.

Had some lunch, did some laundry and then went out for my first day of C25K-week 3. This is the one that has 1.5 minutes of run/walk then 3 minutes of run/walk repeated twice. Was kinda of nervous (ok a lotta nervous), but I had to try it. First round was good…struggled and slowed down a bit but made the whole 3 minutes of running. Had side pains again, tried to focus on slow breathing but they still nagged as I started the second round. Ending up stopping at 2 minutes because I felt like I was going to pass out. Walked the last minute and then started the last 3 minutes of walking. I instantly felt disappointed in myself for stopping the long run. So I decided to run the last minute instead of walking. I was panting, but am glad I did it.

Woke up in the middle of the night for a potty break, and my glutes and hamstrings were killing me. Calves were fine, which is what hurt last week after my runs, so figured it was a combination of squatting while weeding and running that made my buns ache. Then this morning when I got up, my lower back was KILLING me. Seriously, I haven’t had this much back pain for a long, long time. Continued to ache as I got ready and left for work. Walked into the office with my laptop bag very slowly, still feeling it. Felt like I was walking like a 100 year old! Sitting here at my desk trying to stretch it out and hope it goes away throughout the day.

So the moral of the story, sorry kinda drug that out eh, is that even if you are fearful of something ,you should at least try to do it and not be afraid of how’ll you’ll feel afterwards. And you might want to try it on a day you will be doing something else, so if you do ache the next day, you can’t directly attribute it to what you were afraid of!

Stupid weeds…why must you cause me so much pain! Oh well, at least fall is almost here then you will die. That will make me happy!

C25K Week 2 Complete and another milestone met!

Well, I made it the end of Week 2 of C25K. No falls, no sprains and I didn’t cry one time! That’s pretty good.

First I want to share another milestone that I achieved this morning. I am proud to day that I lost 3 lbs this week, pushing my total to 45.4 lbs lost! I weigh 5 lbs less now then I did on the day I got married almost 5 years ago! That’s awesome! I can’t help but wonder why I let myself get so heavy and out of shape throughout the last five years. I had some rough stressful times when my mom had to get her pacemaker/defibrillator , finishing my Masters degree, buying a house, losing my mother…the list could go on and on, but everybody has rough times. I just lost sight of taking care of myself during those rough times. But those are detours that I dealt with and am handling better now while controlling my weight. For the first time, I am really focused on achieving my goal, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. That is a motivation in itself.

That means less then 10 lbs to my initial goal weight! Wow…can’t believe I am almost in single digits!!! Makes me wonder if I should keep going when I get there? Well let’s get there first then we can see what happens next. Baby steps Mendie, baby steps.

OK, back to C25K. I was really nervous starting week 2, it was 50% more then I had been running. Oh there were a few intervals that I had to stop a few seconds early because of the searing pain in my side…what’s up with that anyone…know how to prevent it? But other then that I did the entire thing as I was supposed to and each day was about the same speed, making it 1 ½ miles. I did notice that I started quicker and by the last ½ mile I was feeling it and wishing I could be done.

I actually ended up doing 4 days of this level, because I felt I needed a little more before moving onto the next one…which honestly freaks me out because it has a 3 minute run…two times! Praying my lungs can take it.

Summary of Week 2:

Day1:Wow, that extra 30 seconds really makes a difference..I feel the burn! In my side, my shins and my knees. Maybe I should have waited a little longer after dinner…think I feel something jiggling around in my belly. That can’t be helping.

Day2:I had to stop 10 seconds early in the next to last running interval, my side felt like it had knives in it! Am I breathing enough…feels like the whole neighborhood can hear me exhaling as I run. Said hello to a neighbor as I was running and sounded like a cross between Grover and a psycho killer. Lovely.

Day3:Feels good, still having side pains after the first mile, sweating like a whore in church (thanks grandma for that saying) and am red as a lobster…but I’m doing it. Legs are a little jelloish when I walk in the house, but I am happy I got out and did it.

Day4:Had to an extra rest day before I got this last one in, and from the beginning of the run my calves felt sooo tight. Started out towards the front inside, different from shin splints definitely more in the muscle. When I finished my 1 ½ miles, stretched and got inside to sit down to take off my shoes, my calves were sooo tight! Walking felt like it was so painful, almost like when I started shredding. They are better this morning but still sore, am I running too hard, pushing off the wrong way, not taking long enough strides? Something is off, just need to experiment and see what doesn’t make me hurt. But finished the whole thing and fought thru the pain.

So overall, I am happy with completing week 2 of C25K. I cheated on 2 intervals the whole week, but only for about 10 seconds each. I am very nervous about week 3 starting, hope I can do it. It seems like such a big jump, but I guess they know what they are doing…millions of people have done it and so can I!

Ready for week 3 to begin this weekend! Bring it on…but be gentle with me please!

You Capture – Peace

You Capture challenge this week is peace. There are several things that bring me peace, mainly my family and home.

This is my mom, it was her senior picture. She passed away last October and I have this frame and memorial candle in our spare bedroom. I have a plant that someone gave at the funeral beside it,which somehow I have managed to keep green. Looking at her picture heals me a little each day as I know she is at peace now.

Here is Miss Emma. She loves to sit in the living room upstairs and stare out the front door watching the squirrels and birds. The way the light reflects in her eyes is mesmerizing, you can’t help but feel relaxed just watching her enjoy the sunshine.

We were blessed to find a house that already had a fenced in backyard. Emma loves it and so do we, it is very peaceful to sit on the back patio and watch the birds, squirrels and bunnies hop around in the field behind us. Calms you down after a long day in the office.

What brings you peace? Stop over to Beth’s place and share your pictures with us!

Weekly Weigh-In

It’s Wednesday…time to be accountable over at Shrinking Jeans. I am thrilled to say I am down 2.2lbs this week! Hip Hip Hooray! This means I FINALLY earned my 5# button from the Sisterhood! I am almost to the 45 lb mark, which is 10 lbs from my final goal!

Second week of 21 Days challenge is going pretty good. Caved and got a diet soda yesterday afternoon at work because I started to get another headache from stopping the coffee. It helped so I’m not considering it a bad thing. I’ve slipped on taking my vitamins, only because I switched purses and forgot to put my pack in my new purse. Then by the time I got home I forgot completely. Continuing to drinking about 2.5 liters of water while at work, this has increased since I stopped drinking 4 cups of coffee in the morning.

Continuing to do C25K 3 times a week, think I am going to do another day of level 2 tonight before jumping to level 3. Feeling good, not much shin pain like I was having last week, but I think I need a little more at this level so I won’t knock on failures door when I get to the 3 minutes of running. Also thinking of starting to Shred again on 2 of my non-running days to help firm up the jiggle.

How did you do this week…making those new habits stick? Share your stories with us over at The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans.

Farewell coffee…I must say goodbye

Dear Cup o’ Joe,

It is time for me to say goodbye. I appreciate the boost you have given me in the mornings as I try to prepare for the busy workdays. I love having a few cups of you on a Sunday morning as I catch up on blogs and local news. But you are a sneaky little guy and although you appear to be all of these wonderful things, the real you has come to light as I continue to focus on what I put into my body.

You really aren’t that good for me are you? If I am going to try to get pregnant this fall, I can’t have the extra caffeine running thru my veins. My heart rate doesn’t need to be faster just because of stimulants, starting to run has it going fast enough on its own. The real you is too strong for me so I must tame your wild ways with sugar free vanilla creamer, which I use a lot of…so is it really you that I am in love with or just the way you make me feel? I think we both know the answer to that.

There are plenty of other yummy filling things that I can use those 150 calories on instead of creamer. Maybe a slice of toast and pb will give me the protein boost I need in the mornings. Or I could enjoy a cup of orange juice and get some vitamin C to help fend off any bug that maybe going around.

Today I drank my last cup of coffee. So farewell old friend, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I need to start the next leg of my journey without you. I thank you for being there when I needed you and I might occasionally swing by for a visit, but you are not going to be a daily staple anymore. I am proud to say it’s not you…it’s me!

You Capture – Motion

You Capture challenge this week is motion. Here are a few shots of motion that I captured this last week.

Here is one of our koi fish getting ready to eat some dinner. I love how you can see his barbs coming out as he’s puckering. His name is Lemon Zinger, we’ve had him about a year. We have about 15-20 koi fish. We had almost 30 and lost several this spring to a pesky blue heron that decided to make our pond a favorite breakfast spot.

Here is one of our baby dog. She has always had the floppiest ears and we love getting pictures where they are flapping in the breeze as she runs up to the house! She brings such joy to our lives! Her name is Emma, and she is 6 years old.

Weekly Weigh-In

It’s Wednesday…that means weigh-in day over at Shrinking Jeans. I am down .2 lbs this week….not thrilled but glad its not a gain.

First week of 21 Days challenge is going well. No soda all week at work and I’ve been taking my vitamins and only forgot one day last week! Drinking about 2 liters of water throughout the day, need to start weening off my coffee…maybe only allow myself 2 cups as opposed to the 3 or 4 I’ve been drinking lately.

Continuing to do C25K 3 times a week, normally Mon,Wed and Sat and feel good about it. A friend recently signed up for a half marathon in a few months, so that has given me so much motivation to keep going. I told her maybe I’d do it with her next year! Aim for the stars!!!

How did all of you do this week? Keep your heads held high….we are making great strides towards living a healthier life…even if the scale doesn’t reflect it right away!